When our anxiety is heightened and causing us to suffer, we can take certain actions to reduce the uncomfortable and painful sensations we experience when we are in a scary, irritable and anxious state.

Whilst these actions known as ‘self-soothing techniques’ don’t solve the underlying problems beneath our anxiety, they do help to reduce the intensity of the symptoms and keep us functioning and provide us with some sort of safe psychological platform.

If we can learn to regulate and sooth the anxious symptoms, it gives us the opportunity to begin to get to grips with what exactly is at the root of our anxiety. We can try reaching out and seeking support from psychotherapists, clinicians or support groups.

Anxiety is a fearful emotion which serves us by telling something or someone is threatening our physical or psychological boundaries. The intelligence in our bodies can recognize threat before we cognitively recognise it. Sometimes the threat has passed or there is no obvious threat witnessed in the first place, but yet we still feel irritable, apprehensive and uneasy.

It can take our brain a long time to catch up with what exactly the threat or problem is. Until that happens, we need to manage our painful anxious feelings.

Here are five helpful self soothing techniques which you can do by yourself to reduce your anxiety symptoms. Note not all self soothing exercises or activities work for everyone, but you may discover some which work well for YOU.

1. The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique

This breathing technique is a mindful breathing technique which reduces tension allowing your body to calm down.

Place your tongue behind your upper front teeth
Breathe in through your nose to a count of 4 seconds
Then hold your breath for a count of 7 seconds
Purse your lips out and exhale forcefully for a count of 8 seconds
Repeat this cycle four times.

This 3 minute video by Doctor Andrew Weil superbly demonstrates the technique.

2. The Butterfly Hug

This technique grounds you by placing your hands crossways on your chest giving yourself a hug and then tapping your chest with each hand alternately while you breathe mindfully. This helpful video shows you how to do the technique.

3. Take a Walk Through Nature

Walking through nature helps us get back in touch with our senses and back into the here-and-now.

Of course, it is still possible to walk through nature in a fearful anxious trance, so make a conscious effort to connect with the natural environment through your senses by concentrating on the sounds you hear, the scents you smell and the natural colour collages you witness.

4. Use Your Hands

Our sense of touch is an excellent pathway into the here-and-now and away from the usually future based negative thought cycles associated with anxiety.

We are wired for touch unless some traumatic event has interfered with this natural mamalian survival need. When we first enter into the world as little babies, we are deeply held, touched and caressed by our parents.

A hug from someone we trust always helps to reduce stressful and painful feelings. If such a person is not about we can use our hands to give ourselves a big hug

You can also soothe yourself by using your hands to do little practical things like prepping fruit and veggies, clipping or pruning garden plants, making or arranging things, drawing or colouring , or even playing with a fidget spinner.

Our hands are so sensitive to touch that they can dominate other entry points to our consciousness which compete for our attention, such as those constant negative fearful thoughts.

5. Play Games or Do Puzzles

Playing games and concentrating on puzzles is another way to try and get a breather from the painful anxious feelings by bringing your attention elsewhere. Play solitaire, online chess, do crosswords, Sudoku and puzzles. Finally figure out how to solve the Rubik Cube.

Barriers to Self-Soothing

Society is strong on messaging telling us to ‘grow up’ and ‘cop on’ and ‘don’t be a wimp’. We are conditioned to suppress the vulnerable parts of ourselves. If we allow ourselves to sooth ourselves we are admitting to ourselves that we have vulnerable parts and it can be hard to admit we are vulnerable.

Being tender and caring towards ourselves can also be difficult as we may feel a sense of shame about who we are, and feel we do not deserve any care or tenderness.

We also may feel downright silly or foolish and see these self-soothing techniques as babyish and self-indulgent.

Try and quieten your inner critic and inner judge and allow your compassion to rise within you to give you the tender self-care you deserve.