Does your struggle go on and on … and on?
Do you struggle to get out of bed in the morning, your eyes slowly and reluctantly opening to an inner commentary of ‘oh no, here goes another day’?’
Because—during your day, it is an effort to concentrate, make decisions, recall events.
Things which once gave you pleasure no longer do.
You may have lost somebody or something very important to you: a loved one passed away, a relationship ended, you lost a job and you are struggling to process all the grief, the disappointment, the sense of betrayal.
Sometimes you feel you could just snap the head off someone.
And the prospect of another day stops you from getting to sleep, worrying lethargically about the next day, your appetite and zest desert you.
You feel an emptiness or you feel nothing at all—a layer of numbness overlays your depressive fog. All your energy goes into not appearing empty and numb to the outside world.
You put on a brave face, but it just seems to take more and more out of you.
You wonder if the whole world has got it in for you. Sometimes you wonder if life is worth this struggle at all. ‘If only I could just experience more energy and vitality … if only this black cloud would lift”
Dragging yourself through the world
Living with depression can be an isolating, helpless and seemingly hopeless experience. Aware.ie says more than 450,000 people in Ireland experience depression at any one time. That’s one in every 10 people.
Sadly, there is a lot of suffering out there but many keep on hiding it and never seek help or support—they continue to suffer in silence.
This does not have to be you.
While no one ever wants to go through the darkness of depression, there can be a message in that bleak place telling you that something needs to change, something is guiding you or attempting to guide you to a better place, some energy or force calling you to change something about yourself, change something about your world or change your perception of your world.
As you are reading this, what is alive inside of you right now that has brought you on this search to this website page?
That proactive energy desiring change can be supported, nurtured and consolidated. While many people have experienced the depressive ‘Black Dog’, many also have arrived at a place of healing - healing is possible.
Depression can happen to anyone.
While it may not be apparent now, there are usually underlying reasons as to why you feel so low. Sometimes it can be unacknowledged grief, not necessarily a death of a loved one, but the loss of someone or something important to you. Sometimes it can be an anger turned inwards.
Sometimes it can be an unhelpful or destructive life script or philosophy you adopted from your formative childhood years. Other times, it can be repressed material residing in your subconscious.
“What’s the point in talking about my depression? Those close to me are sick of me talking about it. Talking about it to others seems to make it worse.”
Talking to a trained professional Psychotherapist about your feelings is qualitatively different to talking to your friends and family.
Your friends and family are more likely to be reactive or they may attempt to ‘fix’ you as they can get triggered themselves by what you share with them.
A trained Psychotherapist can hold and explore your emotions and attitudes therefore helping you to make sense of how you are feeling.
Talking about your depression to someone who hears it without judgement and gets an understanding of how you feel can help shift the burden of depression.
Voicing your experience of depression to a trained therapist means you are no longer alone with it—someone has attempted to meet you in that place.
“Therapy won’t work, part of me just feels that way”
A sense of hopelessness pervades the depressive experience so going to therapy may feel like it’s going to be just another dashed hope, so why bother?
My practice is to appeal to the part of you which, despite all the knocks, is still seeking, still searching, still carries a modicum of faith. I can work with you to develop your resilience, nurture your inner resources, and help you try to live a more satisfying and meaningful life.
And most importantly, please keep in mind that if you sense I am not the therapist for you as you read this (or following some sessions with me), there are many other therapists out there with whom you may be able to form a successful healing relationship.
Just because one therapist does not work out for you does not necessarily mean all therapists will not work out for you. Here are two links to lists of other therapists working in South County Dublin from the 2 most popular Counselling accreditation bodies:
“How can I face the prospect of therapy when I find it hard to do anything right now?”
The lethargy and apathy which comes with depression makes therapy look like one hell of a hill to climb. But despite how daunting the prospect of therapy may be, you have taken the first step by finding and reading this website.
Just the act of reaching out and making a call or sending an email can be a big step on the way to feeling better.
There is a pathway out of depression
Mind you, there is also a pathway back in to it. Therapy does not promise to ‘cure’ you of your depression; what it does do is help you develop your resilience and self awareness which in turn provides you with tools and insights into your depression which you can draw upon again and again when you find yourself slipping back into your depression.
emerge into light
Sometimes humour, even black humour, gets us through the dark days, however, sometimes humour is used to deflect from how we are really feeling.
I can be a support to you if you wish to undertake the courageous journey of talking about and stepping into the realtime lived experience of your depression in the therapy room.
Along your journey I will move with you at your pace checking in with you to make sure I am moving at your pace.
Another Step ...
If any of the above resonates with you and you feel like taking your exploration of talk therapy one step further to help relieve your depression, contact me today for a free 15-minute phone consultation by clicking here to request a call back at a time of your choosing.
Written by Tadhg Hayes, MSc Integrative Counselling & Psychotherapy.
Psychotherapist working in South Dublin.