Many adults who struggle in life cannot pinpoint any specific negative events or challenges that could shed the light on their ongoing difficulties. Yet, life seems to require so much more effort from them than it appears to require from other people. They often asked questions such as:

What is wrong with me?
Why am I not like other people?
Why do I constantly feel that I am doing something wrong?
Why do I feel like an outsider?
Why am I so tired/anxious/irritable all the time?
Why do I feel like I want to take a break from life?

Perhaps social situations leave them unusually exhausted. Perhaps everyday noise, light, touch or competing demands can become overwhelming. Perhaps they spend considerable energy working out what other people seem to understand intuitively. They may have become very good at adapting to different situations, while privately experiencing a great amount of exhaustion, anxiety or irritability.

For some people, the possibility of autism provides a new way of making sense of these experiences.

This does not mean that every experience of anxiety, sensitivity, social difficulty or overwhelm is a sign of autism. Nor does considering autism mean that previous diagnoses or psychological understandings were necessarily wrong. But for some people, exploring the possibility of being autistic can bring together aspects of their history that have previously seemed unrelated.

The understanding of autism has changed dramatically in recent years: from a relatively narrow, stereotype-driven concept to the broader autism spectrum disorder (ASD) framework. As a consequence, people who were previously overlooked (particularly those with subtler traits, girls and women, people with strong language or intellectual abilities, and adults who learned to mask their difficulties) are now more likely to be identified as autistic.

Below is the list of questions that illustrate experiences of daily challenges for many autistic people. If they ring true for you, perhaps it is worth exploring the possibility that you are a neurodivergent individual trying to live according to neurotypical standards.

Communication & social interaction

Have you ever been told you speak too formally, bluntly, or unusually?

Have you ever been told you take things too literally?
Have you ever struggled to understand sarcasm, teasing, hints, or indirect communication?
Have you ever been told you talk too much about your interests?
Have you ever struggled to know when it is your turn to speak?
Have you ever found small talk difficult or pointless?
Have you ever rehearsed conversations before having them?
Have you ever replayed conversations afterwards and wondered whether you said the wrong thing?
Have you ever struggled to understand what someone is feeling from their facial expression or tone of voice?
Have you ever been told that you don't make enough eye contact—or make unusual eye contact?

Sensory sensitivity

Have you ever found certain sounds unbearably loud, irritating, or distracting?
Have you ever been bothered by bright lights or particular types of lighting?
Have you ever disliked certain textures of clothing, food, or materials?
Have you ever been unusually sensitive to smells?
Have you ever found physical touch uncomfortable when you weren't expecting it?
Have you ever found crowds, busy environments, or lots of simultaneous sounds overwhelming?
Have you ever sought out particular sounds, textures, movements, or sensations because they feel calming?

Routines & need for predictability

Have you ever become very upset when plans suddenly change?
Have you ever needed to know in advance what is going to happen?
Have you ever preferred doing things in a particular order or way?
Have you ever repeated routines because they make you feel comfortable or settled?
Have you ever found it difficult to switch from one activity to another unexpectedly?
Have you ever found holidays, travel, or unfamiliar places exhausting because your usual routine is disrupted?
Have you ever rewatched the same films or TV programmes because the familiarity feels comforting?
Have you ever bought multiple versions of the same item because you know it works for you?
Have you ever found that familiar choices reduce the effort and energy needed to make everyday decisions?
Have you ever found even a well-intentioned surprise stressful or overwhelming?

Self-regulation

Have you ever rocked, tapped, fidgeted, paced, bounced your leg, or made repetitive movements when excited, stressed, or concentrating?
Have you ever been told to ‘stop fidgeting’ or ‘sit still’?
Have you ever repeatedly played with your hair, clothing, jewellery, or an object because it feels soothing?
Have you ever hummed, whistled or quietly repeated a tune?
Have you ever played with objects in repetitive ways rather than using them for their intended purpose?
Have you ever felt an urge to move your body in a particular way because it feels satisfying or regulating?

Interests & attention

Have you ever developed an extremely strong interest in a particular subject?
Have you ever spent hours learning about one topic without getting bored?
Have you ever talked extensively about an interest without noticing that the other person has lost interest?
Have you ever remembered unusually detailed information about things you're interested in?
Have you ever found it difficult to stop doing something you're deeply absorbed in?

Masking & fitting in

Have you ever consciously copied how other people talk, gesture, dress, or behave?
Have you ever watched other people to work out how you're "supposed" to behave socially?
Have you ever practised facial expressions, eye contact, or conversational responses?
Have you ever felt like you're performing a version of yourself around other people?
Have you ever behaved very differently at home compared with school, work, or social situations?
Have you ever needed significant alone time after socialising to recover?

Childhood

Have you ever been told you were unusually shy, quiet, intense, sensitive, or "in your own world" as a child?
Have you ever had particularly strong interests or collections as a child?
Have you ever preferred playing alone or alongside other children rather than joining group play?
Have you ever struggled with changes to routines at school or home?
Have you ever had unusually strong reactions to sounds, clothing, food, or other sensory experiences?
Have you ever been told you seemed older or younger than your peers socially?

Emotional regulation & overwhelm

Have you ever become overwhelmed by too much noise, activity, social interaction, or sensory input?
Have you ever needed to withdraw somewhere quiet when overwhelmed?
Have you ever had what felt like a shutdown—becoming unable to speak, think clearly, or interact?
Have you ever had a meltdown or intense emotional reaction after becoming overwhelmed?
Have you ever found that you hold everything together in public and then become exhausted or distressed afterwards?

Internal Senses & Interoception

Have you ever struggled to notice when you're hungry/thirsty until you're suddenly extremely hungry/thirsty?
Have you ever forgotten to eat because you were absorbed in something?
Have you ever realised you need the toilet only when the need has become urgent?
Have you ever had difficulty telling whether you're tired until you're completely exhausted?
Have you ever had difficulty distinguishing between sensations such as hunger, anxiety, nausea, or excitement?
Have you ever had difficulty judging whether you are too hot or too cold?
Have you ever struggled to recognise when your body needs rest, food, water, movement, or a break?
Have you ever relied on external cues—such as the time, an alarm, or someone reminding you—to recognise bodily needs?

Emotional & Interpersonal Sensitivity

Have you ever found yourself strongly affected by the mood of people around you?
Have you ever become anxious, upset, or uncomfortable when someone nearby is angry, even when their anger isn't directed at you?
Have you ever felt physically or emotionally overwhelmed by someone else's intense emotions?
Have you ever absorbed another person's mood without consciously meaning to?
Have you ever found conflict between other people extremely distressing, even when you weren't involved?
Have you ever felt responsible for making other people feel better when they're upset?
Have you ever been unusually sensitive to criticism, rejection, disappointment, or perceived changes in someone's attitude toward you?
Have you ever had difficulty separating your own emotions from the emotions you perceive in someone else?
Have you ever experienced someone else's excitement, enthusiasm, or happiness as intensely contagious?